its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
