At least make sure they are 18
Why
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i will never coherently bang her
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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