we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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