Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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