I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize
