i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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