Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
