We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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