It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Please don't give away my fajitas
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
