shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
