Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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