just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Someone signed my nipple.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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