bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
