i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
