I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
