just tell him i said nine months
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
