i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Girls should come with a carfax report
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
