Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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