He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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