i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
