Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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