you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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