Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
