Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
