On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
