we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
