why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
