Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
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do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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