I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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