The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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