Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
