apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
