I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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