i just google imaged poop.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
