my vag is so smooth its legendary
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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