he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
