just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
