the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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