foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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