Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
