Swine flu. Run for my life!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize