I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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