So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
third nipple confirmed
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
