my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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