trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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