all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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