Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
