Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize