it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize