On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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