Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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