God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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