seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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