I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
