I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
