It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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