jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
