I just pynch a tree in the face
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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