This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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