I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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