This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
