Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
As shirtless as possible
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
