this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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