I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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