As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
