Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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