So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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