ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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