Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
